A Matter of Trust
by Noraneko94
Summary: An old one-shot I had lying around. Arthur takes the knights and Merlin out for a special training exercise during a heat wave, but things don't go according to plan. How can Arthur make amends? Slight fluff, no slash. Rated T purely cause I'm paranoid.


''How much further?'' Merlin grumbled, using the back of his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow. He was relieved to see that the involuntary wince that came with his motion had gone unnoticed.

The sunshine breaking through the canopy of the forest was relentless, and the heat had caused a myriad of trouble over the past few weeks. The knights, and by default Merlin and Arthur, had dealt with anything from forest fires threatening to destroy valuable crops and outlying villages, to an increase in drunken disputes as more people were tempted by a refreshing pint of mead.

Gaius had been working almost non-stop, with Merlin's assistance whenever the younger man had a moment to spare, to treat the various ailments caused by the heat wave.

To top it all off, Merlin had begrudgingly discovered that certain magical creatures thrived in the burning sunlight, one of which had gotten uncomfortably close to the castle only a few nights ago. So when Arthur had announced a special training session for his knights and had all but ordered Merlin to come along, the servant had been less than pleased.

Looking around, Merlin noticed he wasn't the only person in a foul mood. Sir Leon's curls were sticking to his brow, Percival's shirt (at least Arthur had been sensible enough to not get any of them to wear their chainmail or armour for whatever hellish exercise he had planned) was almost entirely soaked with sweat, and Elyan had just started on his second water skin that he'd brought along. Perhaps the greatest sign that the knights were at their breaking point was the fact that Gwaine had barely said a word since they had left Camelot early that morning.

''Not much further now.'' Arthur chirped, completely unfazed by any of Merlin's complaints. The king had been in an oddly good mood since he'd announced this mysterious excursion, much to Merlin's annoyance. He had refused to tell anyone where they were headed, and had only told the knights that they would need their horses and a change of clothes- no armour, no weapons. Merlin had been ordered to bring along enough food for a day trip as well as a change of clothes, meaning he was likely to be dragged into whatever scheme his master had been plotting. Splendid.

True to his word, the king ordered them all to stop and tether their horses to nearby trees only a moment later. Merlin pursed his lips as he climbed off his mare, his shoulders going tense at the movement.

If Merlin had not felt so miserable, he might have been able to appreciate his surroundings a little more. They were in a small clearing, the grass was speckled with bright flowers, and the leaves on the trees were gently rustling in the soft summer breeze.

As the knights lined up in front of their sovereign, Merlin grimaced slightly at the sorry sight in front of him: Gwaine was leaning heavily against the nearest tree, looking ready to collapse, Elyan looked sadly at the now empty second water skin, Percival was desperately trying to stand in the little bits of shade he'd found, and even Leon was hunched over slightly.

''Right!'' Arthur clapped his hands together, either oblivious or indifferent to his knights' torment. A mischievous grin began to curl the corners of his lips before he continued. ''Today, we shall be working on a few things.''

Merlin groaned as Arthur held up his index finger.

''Firstly, we will be working on your endurance.''

Merlin's previous grown was now mirrored by Gwaine, who now almost sank all the way down to sit in the grass, his head resting against the bark of the tree.

''Secondly,'' Arthur added his middle finger to the tally. Merlin would have normally quipped something about the king's ability to count, but he honestly had no energy left in him to do so. ''We are going to be testing your trust and loyalty.''

This caused a few brows to rise in surprise. Merlin wasn't surprised to see a hint of hurt in the knights' eyes: they had followed their king through so many battles and heartaches, to be 'trained' in trust and loyalty now felt like a slap in the face.

''There is one more factor I wish to train you all in, but that shall be revealed in due time.'' Arthur had held up a third finger as he spoke, but now lowered his hand and smirked once more, seemingly pleased that he'd left his knights (and Merlin) more confused than before. ''Your task today is to follow me.''

Merlin snorted. Finally, he could see the king growing impatient with him. _Serves him right for trying to be so secretive, _Merlin thought.

''We've blindly followed you into the middle of nowhere all morning.'' Merlin explained nonchalantly. Had Arthur not seemed so sure of himself, Merlin would have wondered if the king had actually gotten them all lost.

''And now you'll do it on foot.'' Arthur retorted confidently, a smirk spreading across his face once more. This time, Merlin wasn't the only person to groan.

''Arthur, you can't be serious,'' Merlin tried, stepping forward. ''It's too hot to be running around unnecessarily, do you know how many guards have been sent to Gaius' chambers with heat stroke as of late?''

''Like I said, _Mer_lin, this is as much an endurance exercise as it is one of trust and loyalty,'' Arthur growled, his good mood quickly fading when faced with his servant's defiance. ''So you'd better keep up, anyone who falls behind will be running back to Camelot instead of riding.''

Before anyone could argue any further, the king turned on his heel and started to run- fast. Leon was the first one to reluctantly follow, Elyan and Percival short behind. Gwaine and Merlin looked at each other, but then Gwaine shrugged as if to say ''I don't want to run back home'' and broke into a quick sprint to catch up with the others. Merlin clenched his jaw, silently cursing destiny for somehow dragging him into this situation, and then quickly followed the group of exhausted and overheated knights.

They followed Arthur further into the woods, leaping over fallen tree trunks and ducking beneath low hanging branches. Glancing back, the king was surprised to see Merlin keeping up with the knights almost with ease.

''Be careful not to trip over your own feet, Merlin!'' He called back teasingly, laughing when he heard a soft ''Prat'' escape from his friend's lips. He suddenly turned left and increased his pace.

Merlin frowned as the king changed his route. The knights were already struggling to keep up: surely if Arthur wanted to train their endurance, he would lower the pace but increase the time they would be running? There was something the blond wasn't telling them, and it bothered Merlin that he hadn't figured it out yet.

Then it happened. Arthur had been looking back towards them once more and had been about to say something when the earth seemed to disappear beneath his feet. Merlin's eyes widened as he watched Arthur fall from a cliff edge that he somehow hadn't noticed before.

''Arthur!'' He called out as he suddenly raced ahead of the group, blindly leaping after his king. He could hear the knights calling for both of them now, but that wasn't what caught Merlin's attention. What shocked him more than anything was to see Arthur looking up at him, smirking just before they both landed in the water below with a loud splash.

The cloud of bubbles around him momentarily disoriented Merlin, but his instincts quickly kicked in and he swam back to the water surface, taking a generous gulp of air before coughing and wiping his hair from his eyes. Arthur was somewhere to his left, laughing jovially.

''Come on then!'' He called up to his knights, who now stood at the edge of the cliff looking down at the king and his servant incredulously. ''I thought I told you all to follow me! If _Mer_lin can do it surely it should be an easy feat for the knights of Camelot?''

''This was your plan all along?'' Merlin asked just before Gwaine dived into the water with a cheerful yelp. ''To have us follow you off a cliff?!''

Percival was next to jump into the small lake, the splash causing Merlin to swallow more water and making him cough once more. Before he had time to recover, Leon and Elyan had followed. The knights were laughing with their king now, relieved to splash around in the cool water.

Later, Merlin would see that Arthur had only tried to raise his knights' morale (the third part of their training, Merlin guessed), and he would perhaps even feel a bit honoured that the man had thought to include Merlin. But that would be later. As things were, Merlin was fuming.

''You're unbelievable.'' Merlin growled, swimming to the shore. He bit back the gasp that came with lifting himself out of the water, still dripping from head to toe as he started to find his way back up towards the cliff.

''Oh don't be such a girl, Merlin,'' Arthur placated, playfully splashing some water into the younger man's direction. ''You said so yourself, it's hardly a day to be running around unnecessarily.''

''I'll be with the horses.'' Merlin replied coldly before turning away from his friends.

''Merlin!'' Arthur tried again, shocked to see his servant storming off. He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair.

''It was a bit mean to deceive him like that, princess.'' Gwaine commented as he floated past his sovereign on his back, looking positively refreshed. ''You know what he gets like when he thinks you're in danger.''

''Oh come on, it was just a bit of harmless fun.'' Arthur tried, but part of him begrudgingly agreed with Gwaine. How many times had Merlin completely discarded his own wellbeing for Arthur's sake? The man had drank poison for him, had leapt in front of a Dorocha so that Arthur may be safe.

Arthur hesitated for a while, but eventually he wielded. With a sigh, Arthur swam to the shore and climbed out of the water, taking a moment to squeeze most of the water out of his tunic before heading in the direction Merlin had gone. He assured his knights that he would quickly return, with Merlin, and that they should just enjoy the cool water while they could. After all, he didn't need an audience if he was going to apologise to his servant.

He'd been walking slowly, trying to come up with a way to apologise without having to swallow his pride, when he finally heard his servant in the clearing up ahead.

He could hear Merlin calling him a variety of insults, from 'dollop head' to 'royal pratness', but his curiosity piqued when he heard Merlin mutter ''Gaius is going to kill me for this.'' He couldn't help but wonder what Merlin had done wrong to instigate Gaius' wrath, and that is how the king found himself creeping up on his unsuspecting servant.

What he saw made his blood run cold. Merlin was stood next to his horse, wringing out his soaked tunic before he started to unwrap the bandages from his torso. Arthur's jaw clenched as what could only be described as claw marks were revealed on the younger man's pale torso.

''Don't work yourself too hard, Merlin,'' Merlin mimicked the physician, quirked eyebrows included. ''And for goodness sake, do not get them wet!''

Arthur winced, his gut twisting uncomfortably with guilt. He continued to watch as Merlin pulled out a jar of some sort of ointment, which he carefully applied on the cuts. It was only then that Arthur noticed the scars.

No matter how much he thought it over, there were far too many scars for a mere servant to possess. How often had Merlin hidden his hurts from Arthur? He vaguely recognized the scar from the mace Merlin had been hit with, as well as the small scar on his arm.

'Your first battle wound', Arthur had called it, but now he was starting to wonder if that had been true. Just how many times had Merlin gotten hurt without his knowledge? And why did he feel the need to conceal these injuries? Did he not trust Arthur enough?

Merlin had finished applying the ointment and turned around to reach within his saddlebag once more, revealing even more scars on his back. Arthur recognised a cut that could have been inflicted with a sword or dagger, but what puzzled him even more was the distinct scar on his right shoulder blade. Arthur had seen many a wound like it, though he'd never seen it properly scar, mainly because a Serket sting usually ended in death.

He watched silently as Merlin wrapped the fresh bandages around his torso, his mind plagued with questions. He was snapped out of his thoughts when a twig broke not too far behind him. He swirled around to see Gwaine approaching him, brow furrowed in confusion.

''Everything alright here?'' The man asked, running a hand through his dripping wet hair. ''You'd both been gone for quite a while, I thought I'd make sure you hadn't killed each other yet.''

Arthur slowly turned around to see Merlin starting back at him, his expression scarily unreadable. The younger man turned away from him and quickly pulled the spare tunic from his bag, pulling it over his head before Gwaine could get a clear look at his bandaged torso.

''Mer-'' Arthur began, but was quickly interrupted by an icy chuckle from his servant.

''I don't think Gwen will appreciate your new hobby of watching people get changed, _sire_.'' The word was spat out with such venom, Arthur visibly winced. ''Now was there something you required, or shall I just prepare your meal?''

''Merlin, I-'' The blond began, but even he wasn't sure where he was going. He hated to admit it, but Merlin's angry demeanour had left him speechless.

''Right, I'll water the horses and set up your meal, then.'' Merlin stated matter-of-factly once Arthur failed to continue. He picked up a bucket and brushed past Arthur and Gwaine without so much as a glance in either direction.

''What was that all about?'' Gwaine asked, baffled by his friend's sudden rage.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

''Will that be all, Sire?'' Merlin enquired detachedly, bowing his head to avoid meeting Arthur's gaze.

''Yes, thank you, Merlin.'' Arthur replied warily. The words had barely passed his lips before Merlin had retreated from his chambers, softly closing the door behind him.

''Okay, what's going on?'' Arthur was startled by Gwen's bluntness.

''What makes you think something's wrong?'' Arthur asked half-heartedly.

Gwen placed her goblet on the table and took his hand in hers, a small smile tugging at her lips as she eyed him bemusedly.

''Merlin has been acting like a proper servant since you've returned from your little swim,'' She explained simply, her free hand moving up to cup his cheek. ''So what happened?''

Arthur sighed wearily, squeezing her hand softly as he gathered his thoughts.

''I may have scared Merlin unnecessarily…'' He began hesitantly, squirming slightly as he admitted his wrongdoing. ''It was meant to be a joke, but I'm afraid Merlin did not take it that way.''

''Well, have you apologised to him?'' Gwen enquired, her brow furrowed in confusion. She knew Merlin could get grumpy from time to time, but she did not expect their friend to react so fiercely to what he was sure to realise was a prank gone wrong. Sure, he'd be mad for a little while, but Merlin almost always gave as well as he took, so surely he'd scheme his revenge rather than distance himself from them?

''I intended to, but I-'' Arthur got up from his seat in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he paced the room. ''I was about to speak to him when I saw-''

His heart clenched as he remembered the nasty gashes on his friend's torso along with the scars. God, how many had there been? His wife's gentle embrace pulled him out of his thoughts again, and he suddenly noticed the tears that blurred his vision.

Warm hands guided him to the edge of the bed. He sat down, his elbows resting on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. Gwen rubbed his back soothingly, gently placing a kiss on the top of his head.

''He was _wounded_, Gwen,'' He uttered. He could hear her soft gasp and his head snapped up as he immediately realised what he'd just said. ''He did not get injured today, he already-''

He took a deep breath, urging himself to calm down as he explained to Gwen that he'd caught Merlin getting changed, that he'd seen both the scars and the relatively fresh marks.

''Why did he never tell me?'' Arthur mumbled eventually, looking down at his hands as if they'd hold the answers.

''He's Merlin,'' Gwen chuckled slightly, though when he looked up he could see the sadness in her eyes. ''He's stubborn, clumsy, _loyal _Merlin. He'd rather suffer in silence than inconvenience others by making them worry.''

''What am I going to do?'' Arthur huffed, pursing his lips.

''Talk to him.'' The queen responded calmly, though she understood it was easier said than done. Arthur's pride was one thing, but judging by the way Merlin had reacted, it was highly likely that the servant would be less than willing to listen.

Swallowing past the ever-growing lump in his throat, Arthur nodded reluctantly. He smiled at Gwen and planted a gentle kiss on her temple, squeezing her hand once more before determinately walking out the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

''What am I supposed to tell him?'' Merlin asked nervously, striding back and forth in the physician's chambers.

''Calm down, Merlin, you're going to open up your wounds again if you keep pacing like that.'' Gaius appeased, failing to guide his ward to one of the benches as Merlin chuckled bitterly and pulled from his grasp once more. Merlin had been ranting about what had transpired that day since the moment he'd returned, and Gaius was starting to get exhausted just looking at the younger man.

''They didn't open up when I _leapt of a cliff _after Arthur, I doubt walking will be my undoing.'' He retorted, running a hand through his hair.

Gaius was about to speak again when there was a knock on the door. The door opened shortly after to reveal a familiar brunet grinning sheepishly.

''Everything alright, Sir Gwaine?'' Gaius asked, silver brow rising suspiciously.

''Never better, Gaius!'' The knight smirked brightly, quickly making his way to his intended target. ''Just thought I'd bring Merlin here along for a drink or two.''

''Oh that's quite alright.'' Merlin tried to refuse, but soon found an arm forcefully wrapped around his shoulders as he was being dragged out of the room.

''Nonsense, it's my treat! I'll bring him back safely, Gaius!'' And just like that, Gaius was left in his chambers all alone.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Merlin looked down at the drink in his hands, swirling it around idly. He could hear Gwaine sighing happily next to him after he'd downed half his drink, using the back of his sleeve to wipe his mouth.

''Now _this _is what I call refreshing!'' The knight laughed cheerfully. Merlin snorted indignantly.

''What, jumping off a cliff didn't do it for you?'' He retorted, taking a swig from his own mead. He truly did not understand how anyone could find the _burning _sensation of mead running down your throat refreshing.

''I think I would have preferred that without the initial heart attack,'' Gwaine admitted somewhat to Merlin's surprise. ''Though I have to admit I didn't think you could run that fast.''

''I have many talents.'' Merlin smiled faintly, taking another sip.

''Like treating your own injuries?'' Gwaine quipped, causing Merlin to spit the sip he'd just taken right back out.

''So you did see.'' The servant mumbled, eyes downcast.

''That I did.'' Gwaine acknowledged seriously, placing his nearly finished drink aside and focusing entirely on his friend. ''Why didn't you tell us?''

''It's not as bad as it looks,'' Merlin shrugged awkwardly, nervously chewing the inside of his cheek. ''I didn't want to make you worry.''

''You're my friend, Merlin,'' Gwaine began, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder. ''You're _our _friend, you know you can tell us anything, right?''

Merlin winced involuntarily at that. Though it made him well up with pride to hear Gwaine call him their friend, it also reminded him just how much he had kept from them.

Things had been getting better since Arthur had become king, and Merlin strongly believed that Arthur would one day bring peace to the five kingdoms and would see magic returned to Camelot, but until then, Merlin had little choice but to remain a silent guardian. It did not hurt to never receive credit for his work, and he'd happily serve Arthur until the day he died, but it hurt to be forced to lie to his friends. He wanted to trust them so badly, but he also did not want to put any of them in a position where they'd have to choose between their friend and the law.

''You know part of today's 'training' was trust and loyalty,'' Gwaine continued, smiling warmly at Merlin. ''Well, I want you to know that I trust you. If you do not wish to tell me what happened, that is fine, and I will trust your judgement, but just remember that I will always be there for you if you need me.''

''I'm sorry for not telling you.'' Merlin apologised sheepishly, rubbing his hands nervously. ''I promise that it really is not as bad as it looks, you should be worried when Gaius confines me to his chambers.''

Gwaine snorted, nodding his agreement before raising his pint to Merlin's.

''To friendship?''

''And jumping off cliffs.'' Merlin grinned, lifting his pint to Gwaine's.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It was almost becoming light again when Gwaine and Merlin stumbled into the physician's chambers. They were giggling softly, heavily leaning on each other as they tried to navigate their way towards the small room at the back.

Both men stopped in their tracks when they made it into Merlin's room, only to see their king perched on the edge of the bed. Arthur stood up slowly, eyeing both men hesitantly.

''Good luck, mate.'' Gwaine hiccupped; gently patting his friend on the back before once again braving the few steps they'd just climbed. ''An' 'm always here if ya need me!'' He called over his shoulder.

''Sire.'' Merlin grumbled awkwardly, nearly tumbling over when he bowed mockingly.

Arthur was by his side in an instant, steadying his servant as he guided him to the bed.

''Good night at the tavern then?'' Arthur quipped, grimacing slightly at the smell of alcohol.

''W's more refreshing th'n jumping off a cliff…'' Merlin muttered whilst allowing Arthur to help him lie down. The younger man began to chuckle when Arthur removed his boots. ''You're doin' my job.''

''I doubt you'll remember it when you wake up tomorrow.'' Arthur retorted with a huff, now starting to remove his friend's jacket.

''You tryin' to see me naked again?'' Merlin wriggled defiantly, the movement clearly agitating his injuries as he winced shortly after. ''Ow.''

''For once, will you just shut up and listen?'' Arthur growled, effectively silencing his servant. He had finally succeeded at removing the man's jacket and folded it over the edge of the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ''I just wanted to say I'm sorry.''

''I thought I was drunk?'' The servant snorted.

''_Mer_lin.''

''Shuttin' up, sire.''

''I admit that I perhaps should not have made you think that I was in any danger today.'' Arthur continued, swallowing his pride. ''I was going to talk to you about it before but then I-''

''Then you saw.'' Merlin finished, sounding surprisingly sober.

''Then I saw.'' Arthur nodded solemnly. ''Why didn't you tell me you were injured?''

''-s not that bad…''

''Those were claw marks I saw, Merlin. How did you even get those?!'' Arthur regretted raising his voice the second he saw his friend flinch. ''Look, I just- It's not just the recent injuries, Merlin. I saw the scars.''

If he'd thought Merlin had looked uncomfortable before, he looked downright petrified now. There was a myriad of emotions drifting through those familiar blue eyes. Sadness, hurt, but more importantly _fear. _It puzzled Arthur: he had seen the younger man face dangers that left most knights shaking in their boots, so what was it that now caused the fear faintly etched onto his face?

''I can't tell you…'' Had it not been for the fact that the rest of Camelot was soundly asleep, Arthur did not think he'd have heard his friend's whispers. ''Not yet…''

Then it dawned on Arthur, the realisation hitting him like a mace to the gut: Merlin was afraid of him. Perhaps not of him personally, but there was clearly something he was too afraid to tell him.

He had often wondered about his manservant's 'quirkiness', and had even pointed out to the man himself that there was something about Merlin that he couldn't quite fathom out. What he'd never realised, however, was how heavily this secretive part of his friend's life seemingly weighed on the man's shoulders.

Arthur knew that if he tried to pry, Merlin would wriggle his way out of the conversation, even while being drunk. Part of the king was even afraid of what he might reveal if Merlin did decide to tell him, though he doubted it would be as bad as Merlin seemingly thought it was.

Thinking back on the events of the day, Arthur decided to take his own intended lessons into consideration.

''You don't have to tell me.'' Arthur stated calmly, holding back a laugh when Merlin's brow raised much like Gaius'. ''I asked you to trust me today and you followed me down a cliff. The least I can do is return the favour and trust you. Just promise me you won't do anything reckless or get yourself killed, and that you will tell me when you're ready.''

''I promise.'' Merlin nodded, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips as his eyes began to droop.

''Good.'' Arthur patted the younger man on his arm, gently pulling the thin blanket over Merlin's body. ''Get some rest. You have the day off tomorrow so those cuts can heal properly.''

''I should get injured more often.'' The servant quipped.

''You _just _promised not to act recklessly.'' Arthur reminded.

''Didn't promise not to get injured.''

''_Mer_lin!''

''Shutting up, sire.''

This time, Arthur couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. He got up from the edge of the bed and opened the door to leave his friend to sleep off the hangover that was sure to follow a night out with Gwaine.

He would be lying if he said that it didn't hurt to know there was a part of Merlin's life that he was not included in, and it worried him to have caught a glimpse of what that part of Merlin's life was doing to his friend.

Still, if the half-asleep ''Thank you'' was anything to go by, he knew that things had been mended between them. He just hoped that one day his friend would open up to him, but for now, he would just have to trust him.


End file.
